When you have a small or even large construction job the place to go to for all your tools is Lowes. With a Lowes Printable Coupon from We Are Coupons you can save money on all the tools you need, and that's no joke. These, however, are some jokes about construction... enjoy
The real joke
Have you heard my under construction joke? It’s not done yet.
Late Construction Workers
“I dedicate this show to my dad who was a roofer. So dad, if you’re up there….”
Ship Building
There are three people who die and go to heaven: a teacher, construction worker, and a lawyer
St. Peter greets them and says "Here's the thing: heaven is becoming overcrowded, so in order to get in, you have to answer the one question I give you correctly. If you don't, you go to hell."
The teacher decides to go first; she walks up to St. Peter, and asks "What is my question?"
St. Peter doesn't mind having a teacher there, so he decides to make the question easy.
"What casualty occured April 14, 1912, that took many lives?"
"The sinking of the Titanic."
"That's correct; who's next?"
The construction worker walks up, and St. Peter doesn't want someone to stink up heaven, so he decides to make it a bit harder.
"How many people died on the Titanic when it sank?"
"1,503."
St. Peter is a bit surprised that a construction worker would know that, but he got the question correct, so he grudgingly let him in.
Then the lawyer walked up
"What were their names?"
The teacher decides to go first; she walks up to St. Peter, and asks "What is my question?"
St. Peter doesn't mind having a teacher there, so he decides to make the question easy.
"What casualty occured April 14, 1912, that took many lives?"
"The sinking of the Titanic."
"That's correct; who's next?"
The construction worker walks up, and St. Peter doesn't want someone to stink up heaven, so he decides to make it a bit harder.
"How many people died on the Titanic when it sank?"
"1,503."
St. Peter is a bit surprised that a construction worker would know that, but he got the question correct, so he grudgingly let him in.
Then the lawyer walked up
"What were their names?"
The Supply man
There was this Spanish guy, this Korean guy and this Russian guy all working for the same construction company. At the beginning of the day the boss comes out and says to the Spanish guy, "You're in charge of the cement." Then he said to the Russian guy, "You're in charge of the dirt." Then he said to the Korean guy, "You're in charge of the supplies." Then he said, "I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're fired." So they all go off to go get their work done. At the end of the day, the boss comes back to check on their work. He looks at the big pile of cement and goes, "Good work," to the Spanish guy. Then he looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Good work," to the Russian guy. Then he couldn't find the Korean guy so he asks, "Where the heck is the Korean guy??" All of a sudden, the Korean guy jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt and yells, " SUPPLIES!"
Construction Crimes
I didn’t want to believe my friend was stealing from the road construction site.
But I went to his house to confront him and all the signs were there.
Hillbilly Lunch
A hillbilly shows up for his first work day at a construction jobsite. At lunch time notices a coworker with a thermos. He asks him what it is. He says, "It's a thermos, it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold!" The hillbilly is impressed so he gets one and brings it in the next day. His coworker notices and says, "Oh I see you got a thermos of your own, what's in it?"
He says "Chili for lunch and two scoops of ice cream for dessert."
He says "Chili for lunch and two scoops of ice cream for dessert."
