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Funny Friday: Fall Jokes

Funny Friday:  Fall Jokes

Fall is an amazing time of year and Home Depot has everything your home needs for this magical season. We Are Coupons has all the Home Depot  coupons you need to help you save money online at Home Depot. This week has been all about making your home all Autumnal for Fall and to keep in with the theme here are some Fall Funnies

 

Henchmen

There were 4 henchmen: Winter, Summer, Spring, and Autumn.

The boss stood before them.

"Winter," he began. "I need you to stay cool in the face of pressure. Ice in your veins," he said, patting his shoulder.

"Then there's you, Summer," he continued. "If the heat becomes too much for Winter, use that hot temper of yours to make sure the cops remember who they're working for.

"As for you, Spring," he chuckled, "this operation is gonna bring in a lotta *green.* Make sure that it keeps growing."

He turned for the door as Autumn stood up.

"Boss!" he sputtered. "What about me?"

The boss turned back, shaking his head.

"Sorry, son. You're just the Fall guy."

 

Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins Decided To Grow Some Vegetables

Mary Poppins decides to grow some vegetables. When she picks her crop in the autumn, her carrots, potatoes, onions, and spring beans have all failed, but her cauliflowers have grown a treat.

She picks them, cooks some for Sunday lunch in a cheese sauce, and they taste wonderful.

After eating them for a week she notices two things. Firstly, her lips are full and glossy, unchapped, uncracked, and require absolutely no lip gloss to make them look full and pouty.

Secondly she has really awful bad breath and even her cat won't come near her.

Pleased with her lips, however, and spotting a money-making idea, she contacts a big cosmetics company and explains about the lip-enhancing qualities of her cauliflower crop.After a month of testing the company buys the entire crop of cauliflowers for a phenomenal amount and requests that Mary grow some more as soon as possible.

The company proceeds to make lipstick out of them but experiences problems in the the final product manufacture. The lipstick does not gel correctly into a solid stick and ends up crumbling upon application. Quality controllers also find that, even as a lipstick, the bad breath remains and have to put it down as an unfortunate side effect.

As they are nearing their production deadline and adverts for this new wonder lip enhancer have hit the streets, the cosmetics company has no choice but to produce the packaging with the following caution.

Poppins' Pop-up Lip Enhancer:

SUPER CAULI, FRAGILE LIPSTICK - EXPECT-HALITOSIS

 

Nostalgic Trees

Did you know that when leaves fall off of trees in the Fall, it's because of nostalgia?

They're trying to get back to their roots.

 

Job Description

Whenever Fall comes around, I like to walk around and collect the colourful leaves.

It sounds better than saying I'm a street sweeper.

 

Vanishing Trees

What do Trees do in the Fall?

Take a Leaf of absence.

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