Lowes has been helping people make their houses homes for many years. One room Lowes can help you with is your bedroom and with a Lowes Money Off Coupon you can save money on everything you need to make your bedroom amazing. In the meantime, here are some bedroom related jokes.
Voodoo Wife
My wife yelled from the bedroom asking, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" I replied, "No."
She yelled back, "How about now?"
Family Matters
A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
“What’s up?” he says.
“I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his four-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!”
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, walks past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
“What are you doing!” says the husband. “My wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!”
Sweet Talk
To spice things up a bit in the bedroom, I asked my wife to talk dirty to me.
Telling me how dusty the garage was, and about the mold in the shower, was not what I was hoping for.
Bedroom Shopping
Shopping for bedroom furniture while drunk
can leave you waking up just having one nightstand.
Vanishing Act
What do bedrooms and the Bermuda Triangle have in common?
Things mysteriously vanish there.
Wrong Number
A wealthy man on a business trip calls home and the butler answers the phone: “Can I talk to my wife, please?”
The butler answers that she is currently in the bedroom with a man. “What?!! Take the rifle in my study, go to the bedroom and shoot them both - I’ll stay on the line”
“Very well, sir”, the butler answers and he walks away from the phone. After about a minute, the man hears two gunshots and a moment later, the butler returns to the phone.
“I shot them both, sir. What should I do with the bodies?”
“I don’t care, throw them in the pool”
“We don’t have a pool, sir”
“Ah, sorry, wrong number”
Where are You Sleeping tonight?
My wife walked in to our bedroom in a huff earlier after coming out the shower
“Dave, can you remember to shut the curtains please, I’m getting changed and the neighbours can see in” she said angrily.
“Don’t worry babe”, I replied. “If the neighbours see you naked they’ll be sure to shut their own curtains”
So that’s why I’m sleeping in the car tonight.
