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Funny Friday: Gardening Jokes

Funny Friday: Gardening Jokes

This week has seen us look at taking care of our gardens. Gardens are easy to take care of when you visit Lowes as they have everything you need. Shopping at Lowes with  a Lowes Money Off Coupon form We Are Coupons makes gardening affordable too. That may put a smile on your face but these gardening jokes will make you laugh out loud


Cutting the grass

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp


Crying Man

I just saw a man slumped over a lawn mower crying his eyes out.

he's just going through a rough patch!


The gardening Priest

A priest buys a lawn mower at a garage sale

Back at home, he pulls on the rope a few times with no results.

He storms back to the garage sale and tells the previous owner "I can't get the mower to start!"

"That's because you have to curse to get it started, says the man."

"I'm a man of the cloth. I don't even remember how to curse."

"You keep pulling on that rope, and it will come back to you."


Garden of Eden

Why did Eve want to leave the Garden of Eden and move to New York?

She fell for the Big Apple.


Growing Time

When I do the gardening, I alphabetise my herbs, people often ask how I find the time.

I respond with "Easy, Thyme is right between the Tarragon and Turmeric"


Stealing dirt

A Man Worked at a Gardening Factory

At this gardening factory, at the back, there was a large pile of dirt. All the employees were told they could have as much of this dirt as they wanted or needed.

This specific man would take on wheelbarrow of dirt out of the factory each day. The security guard began to get suspicious, thinking that this man was hiding something in the dirt. On the 7th day of this, the guard confronted him. The man happily allowed the guard to search the wheelbarrow. This continued for years, the guard just absolutely *sure* this man was stealing something. Every day, he'd search the man's wheelbarrow, and every day, nothing.

After 20 years of working for this gardening company, the man retired. As he left for the final time, the guard made a final plea.

"Look man, I won't get you in trouble or anything, but If I don't know, it will haunt me forever. Please, tell me. What are you stealing?"

The man looked up at him and smiled before speaking a single word.



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