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Artist Dating
Why shouldn’t you ever date an artist?
I don’t know, they just seem kind of sketchy.
Artistic Understanding
An artist has a 6 year old child who also likes to draw
His child drew a horse.
The artist asked, "You drew the horse wrongly."
The child replied, "How did I draw it wrongly?"
The artist said, "Why does the horse have wings?"
The child replied, "Why can't it have wings?"
The artist said, "It isn't a horse if it has wings."
The child replied, "Then why did you call it a horse?"
Does Art Pay?
What’s the difference between an artist and a KFC chicken bucket?
A KFC chicken bucket can feed a family of 4
Artistic Insults
I once insulted an artist about his bad painting
He just brushed it off.
Death of an Artist
My grandpa was an artist. He had an amazing stroke.
That's how he died.
The Price of Art
An artist talks to his curator about his recent sales
Artist: "So? Did I sell anything?"
Curator: "You won't believe this: a man came by and asked if the value of the paintings will rise after the artist's death. I told him that I think so. So he bought the entire gallery.
Artist: "Wow! That's great! who was he?"
Curator: "It was your doctor."
Opinions
An artist takes his work to a gallery for the first time.
A well-known art critic happens to be there and spots the painting. He walks over to the young artist.
"Excuse me, would you like my opinion of your painting?"
"Sure," replied the artist.
"Frankly, it's completely worthless."
"I know, but tell it to me anyway."
Pragmatism wins!
At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist’s work.
They finally went with mine. “I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral,” I said. “No,” said the boy. “Your painting’s wider, so it’ll cover three holes in our wall.”
Art after Death
A woman goes to an artist to have her portrait painted
She tells the artist that she wants him to paint her wearing lots expensive jewelry. Diamonds, gold, pearls, Etc.
The artist says, "But you aren't wearing any."
She replies, "I know, I don't own any either. But if I die, my husband is the kind of man that will get remarried right away. I want to drive his new wife crazy looking for the jewels."
