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Funny Friday: Animals

Funny Friday: Animals

Home Depot has everything you need to take care of your pets.  With a Home Depot Money Off Coupon from We Are Coupons you can save money on everything you need when it comes to your pets. Pets make us smile and in honor of all our pets here are some animal jokes.

Cats vs Dogs

If animal organs were compatible with humans...

Your dog would offer you his kidney even if he only had one that worked.


Your cat would show up one morning with 37 kidneys in a sack and tell you to pick one.

Dumb Animal

What is the dumbest animal in the jungle?

The polar bear.


I was kidnapped by mad scientist who experimented on me, replacing my limbs with animal ones.

If I ever see him again I'll tear him apart with my bear hands.

Not Important

What is the largest land animal that is not important?

The irrelephant .

Who is the boss?

A farmer was retiring and in preparation for selling of his farm, needed to get rid of his animals. So, he went to every house in his town to sell them.

To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse.


To the houses where the woman is the boss, he gave a chicken.


He comes towards the end of the street, and sees a couple outside gardening.


"Who's the boss around here?" , he asked.


"I am", said the man.


"I have a black horse and a brown horse", the farmer said, "Which one would you like?"


The man thought for a minute and then said, "I would have the black one."


"No, no, get the brown one", the man's wife interrupted.


"Here's your chicken", said the farmer.


A zookeeper walks into a restaurant with a bunch of animals...

The waiter exclaims, "This is totally unacceptable!"


The zookeeper responds, "But why?"


The waiter breathes a deep sigh and says, "Well, first of all, we need to address the elephant in the room..."

Another Zookeeper

I met my girlfriend at the zoo and immediately fell in love with her and how she looked after the animals

She's a keeper

Dog Funeral

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he for a long time.

The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying "Father, the dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?"

Father Patrick told the farmer "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a new denomination down the road apiece, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they'll do something for the animal."

Muldoon said "I'll go right now. By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?"


Father Patrick replied "Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic."

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