Sometimes we just need to think how lucky we are not to live in caves and be surrounded by dinosaurs. Thankfully we have nice homes and can make them look amazing by shopping online at Home Depot using a We Are Coupons Home Depot Money Off Coupon. And all this with no dinosaurs in sight. Just for fun this week we thought we would share some dinosaur jokes..
Why do museums have old dinosaur bones?
Because they can't afford new ones!
What does a triceratops sit on?
The chicken Joke..
Why did the tyrannosaur cross the road?
Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.
Because it was chasing a chicken.
Because it was being chased by a chicken.
Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.
They rub it, and a genie appears.
"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.
The first dinosaur thinks hard.
"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."
Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appears in front of him.
Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.
"I know! I'll have a shower of meat!"
Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.
The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.
"I've got it!" he cries, "I want a MEATIER shower!"
A guy is visiting a museum and he sees a dinosaur's skeleton.
Curious about it, he asks the guard next to it:
Excuse me, sir. How old is this dinosaur?
It is 65 million years, 4 months and 13 days old.
Amazed by his answer, he says:
Wow!, How can you be so precise about it?
Well, when I first started working here, they told me it was 65 million years old... and that was 4 months and 13 days ago.
A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar
All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big explosion and blew my poor horse to bits." The spider nods sympathetically. "I just lost my husband in that same fire. The driver found him, freaked out, and crashed trying to squash my dear hubby."
The bartender is in shock, but finally asks the dinosaur his story.
The dinosaur sniffed, took a sip from his straw, and said "My whole family was on that truck"
Long ago, when dinosaurs walked the earth,...
A young Tyrannosaurus Rex was out on the hunt when he stopped to take a drink from a nearby lake.
There, cooling off in the water, he saw the most beautiful Triceratops in all of Pangea. He asked her her name and invited her to go out hunting but she told him she wasn't really into that kind of thing.
The T-Rex liked her anyway though so they started going together.
Even though his parents complained that it was awkward at Christmas dinner and all his friends laughed about how she had him eating salads, he still asked her to marry him.
He was happier because he'd never met a dinosaur like herbivore.