Home Depot puts you and your home first. With a Home Depot Money Off Coupon from We Are Coupons you can save money on putting your home first. This week we took a quick look at how to sweep or clean your chimney. So, just for fun here are some chimney jokes to make you smile.
How much does a chimney cost?
Nothing, because it's on the house.
Cost of things
It was time to get our chimney cleaned so I called a professional chimney sweep. He checks things out and after 10 minutes hands me an estimate. After checking it out I protested. "Twenty five hundred! Are you nuts? I'll clean it myself!
Ok soot yourself.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You’re too little to be smoking.
Why was St. Nick afraid of delivering presents down the chimney?
He had santaclaustrophobia.
Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it ‘soots’ him.
A man came home to find his house burned down, only the chimney was still standing. Since he had no where else to go, he slept in his fireplace that night. In the morning the mailman came to deliver and found the man waking up. The mailman remarked that he was impressed the man got any sleep at all.
To which the man replied, "actually I slept like a log."
The Absolute Truth – to some
A man is sitting in his house watching TV when there is a flood warning. A few minutes later his house is flooding so he goes up to the 2nd floor.
He is hanging out his window when a boat with first responders show up and they yell “Sir, we need to get you out of here! Get on the boat!”
The man replies with “No! If I really needed help, the lord would save me!”
The boat leaves and the flooding rises. So now the man is hanging off the tip of his chimney when a helicopter arrives.
“Sir! We really need to get you out of here!” The people in the helicopter said.
“No! I already told you people, if I needed help, the lord would save me!” He replied.
The helicopter leaves and the man sadly gets killed in the flood.
When he gets up to the pearly gates of heaven, he meets Jesus and says: “My lord, I don’t understand why you didn’t save me back there.”
Jesus replies, “We sent a TV warning, a boat, and a helicopter! What more do you want!?”