December has arrived as if out of nowhere. Our homes still need looking after and Home Depot has all the tools, equipment and materials you need to do so. With a Home Depot Money Off Coupon from We Are Coupons you can save money all every aspect of home maintenance this December. If that doesn’t make you smile these Decemberish jokes will
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict.
So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
Best way to start a new year
Before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st be sure to lift your left leg
That way you will start off the new year on the right foot
Saw this notice posted outside a volunteer fire company in December... "Remember to water your Christmas tree..."
..."or we will come and water it for you."
Christmas gifts will be delivered on January 8 this year instead of December 25
Santa has been asked to quarantine for 14 days.
Too soon for Carols
So last year I started a tradition, I carry a pebble and throw it at anyone who sings Christmas songs before December....
I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.
Lone Ranger in December
The Lone Ranger and Tonto ride into town on a cold December day
"Just wait out here," says the Lone Ranger. "I need to see a man in the saloon. They won't let you in, it's illegal to serve alcohol to your people."
"It's freezing," complains Tonto as he hitches the horses to the rail. "What am I supposed to do?"
"Run up and down to keep warm," the Lone Ranger suggests, and with a grunt of ill satisfaction Tonto begins to run up and down and round and round, occasionally giving a muted war-whoop as he does so.
Inside, the Lone Ranger finds the man he needs to talk to, and they're deep in discussion when the sheriff comes in and spots the stranger. "Hey there, masked man," he says, "is that your hoss outside the saloon?"
"Sure is," says the Lone Ranger. "It's hitched up all right though, isn't it?"
"Yep", says the sheriff, "...but you left your injun running."
Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
"Let's have another round, shall we?"
When I started no shave November I thought I would be excited to shave again in December, but now I don't want to cut my beard at all.
I think it's grown on me.
New Years Eve for Some
Just checked that the carton of milk in my fridge expired December 31.
Unlike me, it had a date on New Year’s Eve.
Santa Needs a map
Back in December a Santa wondered into the wrong street and couldn't figure out a way out
He was a lost Claus