At Lowes you can find everything you need to make your home look wonderful. With a Lowes Money Off Coupon you can save money on making it look wonderful too. Looking wonderful is what you need most when selling your home and the tips this week should have made you smile. If you are not yet smiling at how you can sell your home faster for more then these property jokes should make you smile#
The Property Game
My father beats us, cheats, and whenever we touch his property, he says, “I’m going to make you pay!”
I never want to play Monopoly with him again!
Three elderly men were relaxing on the beach in Florida.
One said “I owned a factory in New York state. One winter, the heat didn’t come on, the pipes froze and got water everywhere, and everything was ruined. I decided I was too old to start over, so I took the insurance money, sold the place, and retired to down here.”
The second man said “I had a big store, in Philadelphia. One night, it caught fire, and burned to the ground. I didn’t want to go through all the work of rebuilding, so I sold the property, took the insurance money, and moved here, too.”
The third man said “I owned a huge car dealership in Miami. Two years ago, a hurricane blew through, and destroyed everything, even the buildings. I, too, decided to take the insurance money, and retire.”
His companions looked at him in awe. After a few moments of silence, one asked “How did you start a hurricane??”
Too many Kids
A man with 12 kids was trying to rent a house. However, no landowner would allow him to rent their house due to the number of children he had. Frustrated, the man told his wife to visit her father's tombstone and bring all but their youngest child with her.
He then visited a property and told the landowner that he would like to rent the place.
"Is this your only child?" asked the landowner.
"No, I have 12 children" replied the man.
"Then where are the other 11 kids?"
"In the cemetery with my wife," he calmly replied.
A cowboy counted 48 horses on his property, but when he rounded them up...
he had 50.
An elderly gentleman was on his deathbed as his wife and three children and nurse stood close by
Then he spoke:“Bill, you take the Beverly Hills houses.“Mary, you take the offices in the Center Center.“Debra, the apartments over the L.A. Plaza are yours.“To my dear wife, take all the residential buildings near downtown.”
The nurse was really impressed. She said, “Your husband must have been quite a man, amassing so much property to leave to all of you.”
And the wife responded, “What property? … the schmuck had a paper route!!”
I spent way too much time, perched uncomfortably, trying to figure out exactly where my property ends and my neighbors property begins.
I'm *still* on the fence