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Funny Friday: Lumberjacks

Funny Friday:  Lumberjacks

This week we have had some insight into chainsaws.  We have also learned that using a Lowes Money Off Coupon is a great way to save money in Lowes on just about anything. If chainsaws are not your thing and you are not smiling at saving money the easy way at Lowes then these lumberjack jokes will put a smile on your face.

Counting Trees

How does a lumberjack know how many trees he cuts down in one day?

He kept a log


How do you escape an angry lumberjack on the internet?

You log off

The  power of eyes

Two lumberjacks are having a conversation.

One of them says "You know, I can cut wood just by looking at it!"


The other replies "That's not possible! I don't believe you!"


The first says "I know, that it's hard to believe, but I'm telling you! I saw it with my two eyes!"

A Mix up

What do you get when you cross a musician, a mathematician, and a lumberjack?

A Logarithm

Talking Trees

A Lumberjack is about to Swing his axe right at a tree until he hears a noise

"Stop! Please don't kill me, I'm a talking tree!"

The Lumberjack stops, and says

"And you will Dialogue"

Train Trips

Where were all the lumberjacks taking the train to?


The Right Tools

Delbert lands his dream job. He gets hired on as a logger. On his first day, the boss man takes him out into the woods, gives him his chainsaw, and says "Usually, our guys can cut down about 100 trees a day. Its your first day, so I'll understand if you're a bit short. Now get to it."


And with that, the boss man leaves Delbert for the day. At the end of the day, boss man returns, and asks Delbert how many trees he cut down. Delbert replies "I only cut down 5." The boss man, a bit flabbergasted, says " That is unacceptable. You'll have to do better tomorrow."


The next day, the boss man takes Delbert out, gives him his gear and says "Remember, 100 a day is the average." And with that, he leaves for the day.


At the end of the day, boss man picks up Delbert, and asks "How many trees today?" Delbert replies "I only managed to cut down 15."


The boss man, this time a bit annoyed says "That just won't do. I am going to give you one more day to get your act together, or else, I'm going to have to let you go."


On the third day, the boss man take Delbert out, throws him his gear and says "This is your last chance. 100, or you're fired."


The boss man leaves for the day, and when he returns, he asks Delbert, "How many today?" Delbert replies, "I did my best, but I only got 20." The boss man, both confused and angry, says "How?!?! Let me see your chainsaw!" The boss man takes it from Delbert, pulls the cord, and the saw roars to life.


Delbert freaks out and shouts "WHAT WAS THAT!?!?!"



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