Home Depot has everything you need for an at home dining experience second to none. With a Home Depot Money Off Coupon you can save money on everything you need for the perfect dinner party or family meal. That should make you smile but if it doesn’t these dining and food jokes will
Wine
A couple of tourists were dining at a fine restaurant in Paris.
After waiting for an hour, the husband finally was able to catch the waiter's eye. "I want a bottle of your best wine," he ordered.
“What year?" asked the waiter.
"Right now!" bellowed the tourist.
Husband and Wife
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant.....
the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table.
The wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," says the husband kiddingly, “she's my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says the wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
Earrings on men
An Old Friend........
A farmer was at a diner one day having lunch, when he noticed an old friend of his who was also dining there.
What really caught the farmer’s attention, was that his friend was wearing an earring.
The farmer knew that his old friend was a fairly conservative fellow, so he was really curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense”.
The farmer walked up to him and said, “Hey Tom, I didn’t know you were into earrings?”
“Don’t make such a big deal, it’s only an earring”, his friend replied sheepishly.
The farmer was silent few a few minutes, but then his curiosity got the best of him and he asked, “So, how long have you been wearing one Tom?”
“Ever since my wife found it in my truck”, his friend replied
Table Settings
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture, but when I got home...
...the tables were turned.
Prayers before meals
A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant. When their food arrived, the husband said: “Our food has arrived! Let’s eat!”
His wife reminded him: “Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!”
Her husband replied: “That’s at home, my dear. Here the chef knows how to cook…”
Herbs and Spices
On my weekends I've been inventing a machine that can distribute herbs and spices to any place at my dining table.
It's not much, but it passes the thyme.
Singles
I was dining alone at a restaurant one evening.
In the middle of my meal, a very pretty woman of about 25 came to my table and asked, "Are you single?"
I smiled and nodded.
She took the other chair and brought it back to her table.
