Fall is passing by fast and Lowes is getting everything ready for Winter. As winter approaches there is no time to laugh and with a Lowes Money Off Coupon you can save money on everything you need for winter. If this doesn’t make you laugh these early winter jokes will
My wife texted me on a cold winter morning...
My wife texted me on a cold winter morning, saying "Windows frozen, won't open. "
I texted her back, "gently pour some hot water along the edges, and tap it with a hammer. "
After a few minutes she texted back, "computer is really messed up now. "
I bought a crystal ball but only ever predicted very cold winters.
Turns out they sold me a snow globe.
Where do bears go for winter holidays?
Winter Bike Ride
I got knocked off my bike by a salt spreading truck last winter.
"You IDIOT" I shouted through gritted teeth.
Why do geese fly south for the winter?
Because it's too far to walk!!
Two men from Texas were in Canada for winter break.
At their cabin they met two canadians. The day after they decided they had to get food, so naturaly they decided to go ice fishing. To make it a bit more fun, the two guys from Texas decided to show the canadians how great America was, by beating them in an ice fishing competition. The canadians accapted the challange. The team with the most fish after two hours would win.
After about an hour the Canadians had gotten several fish, big and small, while the guys from Texas had not gotten a single bite. They decided if they were going to win, they had to start stealing the canadians strategy. The Americans retreated back to observe, and try figure out what the Canadians were doing differently. After 15 minutes of puzzling and observing, one of the Texan's said "Gosh Darnit! The Canadians are cheating! They made a hole in the ice!"
More winter bears
What do you call a bear that likes to spend his summers at the north pole and his winters at the south?
a bi-polar bear.
Why do bees stay inside their hives all winter?
Snow Plow Driving
When I was learning to drive in the winter, my Dad told me, "If you're ever lost in the snow, wait for a plow truck, then follow it."
One cold, snowy Minnesota night, I got lost on the way home. The snow was blowing so fast and piling up so high, I couldn't see any street signs. With no map in my car and a dead cell phone, I thought I might be stranded so I pulled over to the side of the road.
Then breaking through the flurries, I saw the headlights of a plow truck in my rearview mirror. Thanking my lucky stars, I turned in and followed the truck, hopeful that it would lead me back somewhere I recognized.
I followed that truck for what felt like hours. He turned left, I'd turn left. He'd swing to the right, and I was right on his tail. After a while, I saw brake lights from the plow, followed by four-way flashers. The plow had stopped, and I saw the driver get out and approach my car. I rolled down the window to talk to him.
"Why are you following me, kid?" the plow driver asked.
"Well sir, my dad told me if I was ever lost in a snowstorm, I should wait for a plow truck and then follow it."
"Well," said the plow driver. "I just finished clearing the Target parking lot. Want to follow me over to Best Buy??"