It’s that time of year when we seem to be buying gifts for everyone. What with Thanksgiving and soon Christmas giving and receiving gifts has become a national pastime. You can get a wide range of gifts at home depot and using a Home Depot Money Off Coupon you can save money on just about anything instore. With this in mind we thought appropriate to share a few jokes about gifts and presents.
Bags
A father in Iraq gifted his daughter a new bag. The girl replied..
"Thanks for the Baghdad."
Choosing the right gift
An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom"
"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff.
The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."
No present for your mother in law
At Christmas, a man just opened presents from his mother in law and she asks, "where's mine?"
He says, "I didn't get you anything this year."
Visibly upset, she asks why.
He says, "you never used what I got you last year."
She yells, " it was a burial plot!"
Star Wars Christmas
Why is Darth Vader such a spoilsport at Christmas?
Because he feels everyone's presents.
Last Year’s gifts
Going through the loft and found some Christmas presents from last year
A real shame about that dog for the kids...
Christmas Fear
Why was St. Nick afraid of delivering presents down the chimney?
He had santaclaustrophobia.
Underwater Christmas
Why doesn't Santa deliver presents to Captain Nemo?
Because he's on the Nautilus
Great Gifts
What is the world's best Christmas gift?
A broken drum. You just can't beat it.
Carpenters
Why are Carpenters the easiest to get Christmas gifts for?
All they want for Christmas is Yew.
Christmas gift for wife
I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas.
She told me, *'Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace'*
So, I bought her nothing.
Royal Gifts
What Did the King say When the Queen Gifted him a Fool for his Birthday
"I've no use for one of these... But it was a nice jester"
Borthers
Two brothers went to their grandma's for Christmas...
The younger opened up his gift and was delighted to find a nice scarf his grandma had knitted for him.
The older found a card with his name on it. Inside it read "Merry Christmas, Love Grandma"
Later that night the older brother complained to his brother, "Why does grandma love you so much more than me?"
"She does not! Why would you say that?" Responded the younger.
"Because every year you get a gift and all I ever get is a card."
"That's not true, I've seen you get gifts!" Scolded the younger.
Rolling his eyes the older demanded, "When I was little, but it's been years. All I get is cards. In fact, I will bet you next year I get a card again."
"It's a bet then, let's make it $100." smiled the brother.
"$100 I get a card again next year. Deal!" The older glared back.
The next year came around and they both rushed to the tree. To the younger's delight, below the tree was a package with his older brothers name.
He chuckled, "Hope you brought my money big bro."
After dinner the older brother retrieved his gift. As he opened it a smile came across his face.
The younger brother nudged closer and peeked inside. He too smiled, "Hah! That'll be $100, you got a sweater! Told you!"
Smuggly the older pulled the present out and with a grin he said, "No I don't. This isn't a sweater, I got a cardigan."
