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Funny Friday: Real Estate Jokes

Funny Friday:  Real Estate Jokes

Selling your house is something that is either enjoyable or not, there are no two ways about it. What is known that Lowes has all the things you need to spruce up your house and make it sell faster for more money and with a Lowes Printable Coupon from We Are Coupons you can save money on making money. But for most of us it is the Realtors are the people we love to hate and of course we can always have a laugh at their expense.. so here goes..


The right Sign

“A small real estate broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate franchise much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST AGENTS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST COMMISSIONS. The small real estate broker panicked until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own brokerage-it read…MAIN ENTRANCE.”

The soul of a real realtor

“The Devil tells a Real Estate Agent, “Look, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any Real Estate Agent alive. In fact, I can make you the greatest agent that ever lived.”

“Well,” says the Real Estate Agent, “what do I have to do in return?”

The Devil smiles, “Well, of course, you have to give me your soul,” he says, “but you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children’s children and, as a matter of fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity.”

“Wait a minute,” the Real Estate Agent says cautiously, “What’s the catch?”

How to make a Million

“I finally figured out how to make a million dollars in the real estate business. You start out with two million.”


On the money

“An old man was on his deathbed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor, and his real estate agent to his bedside. “Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me.”

At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, “I only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new organ.”

“Well, since we’re confiding in each other,” said the doctor, “I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new MRI machine at the hospital which cost $20,000.”

The real estate agent was aghast. “I’m ashamed of both of you. I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000.”


Only in California

A California Highway Patrolman pulls over a speeding motorist. He walks up to the window, and says

“Can I see your real estate license, please?”

The driver responds “Don’t you mean my driver’s license?”

“No,” says the patrolman. “Not everyone in California has one of those.”


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