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Funny Friday: lawns

Funny Friday: lawns

June is here and Lowes has everything you need to get your home all set for summer. With a Lowes Money Off Coupon from We Are Coupons you can save money on getting your home ready for summer. If that does not smile have a laugh at the greener side of life with these jokes about lawns


I've chicken proofed my lawn

It's impeccable                                                                      

Spanish Grass

This Spanish man on my lawn is so demanding

I keep giving him blankets to sit on and all he will say in response is 'grassy ass'


What did the melon say when his lawn looked dry.

Guess it's time to watermalawn.       

Can’t get the staff

Today I had to fire the guy I hired to mow my lawn

He just wasn't cutting it

Irish Lawn Mowing

An Irishman on how to mow lawns...

An Irishman is driving down the road with his son, when he sees a truck carrying a load of turf on the back.

He points to the truck & says: 'Son, When I get rich that's what I wan't to do'

The son says: 'Be a truck driver?'

The Irishman says: 'No, be rich enough to send my lawn away to get mowed...'

Hole in the lawn

I walked into the lawn and saw my father digging a deep hole

There was still water at the base of the hole.

“What the hell is that dad?”

“Well, son”

“Yes dad?”

Groan Again

Someone's been secretly dumping top soil on my lawn...

The plot thickens...

Home from work

As George got home a long day, his wife asked him to mow the lawn that evening.

"Why do I have to the lawn now?" he asked.


"Because the neighbors are going to think we are slobs, and lazy!" Martha said.


They argued for several minutes, and George threw up his hands. "I don't care WHAT the neighbors think!" he yelled. "In fact, I'll go outside right now and mow the lawn! And I'll do it NAKED! Then what will the neighbors think?"


"They'll think our lawn looks great," said Martha. "And that I married you for your money."


Very silly German Joke

What's red, triangular and flies over the lawn?

A red triangle.


What's black, triangular and flies over the lawn?


The shadow of the red triangle.


I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn and they just hung up.

They said that couldn't do anything about crows and to stop calling.

Deep Thoughts

I was griling a steak earlier and the smell of the juices made my mouth water.... Got me thinking....

Do vegetarians have the same effect when mowing a lawn ?

Mother In-law

Did I tell you I ran over my mother-in-law's foot the other day with the lawn mower?

I told my wife we should have buried her deeper.




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