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Funny Friday: Insurance Jokes

Funny Friday:  Insurance Jokes

Each and every day Lowes helps people look after their home and keep them in tip top condition. Home maintenance is vital and when using a Lowes Money Off Coupon from We Are Coupons it need not break the bank.  All of us should have insurance in place to take care of the mishaps that can happen in and around the home.  When trouble strikes insurance can be our saving grace. None of us really like insurance but to make you smile here are some insurance related jokes.

Life Insurance Truth

Life insurance is gambling

Me: I bet you $100 I will die this year.

Insurance: We'll bet you $50,000 that you won't.

Free Insurance Quote

"Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.”

- Al Bundy


American kid: Mommy, what's a "Canadian"?

Well, dear, that's an unarmed citizen with health insurance.

Insurance Salesmen

Three insurance salesmen, Al, Ben, and Carl, are bragging about their accomplishments.

"Last month," says Al, "when one of my insured died suddenly, I got the news within six hours. The next day, I put a check in the mail for his family."


"That's nothing," says Ben. "Last week, when one of my insured died suddenly, I got the news within 30 minutes. That very day, I personally delivered a check to his family."


"Amateurs," says Carl. "Yesterday, one of my insured was fixing the roof of my office building when he fell off the roof. I handed him his check when he passed my window."

Insurance Claims


Three elderly men were relaxing on the beach in Florida.


One said “I owned a factory in New York state. One winter, the heat didn’t come on, the pipes froze and got water everywhere, and everything was ruined. I decided I was too old to start over, so I took the insurance money, sold the place, and retired to down here.”


The second man said “I had a big store, in Philadelphia. One night, it caught fire, and burned to the ground. I didn’t want to go through all the work of rebuilding, so I sold the property, took the insurance money, and moved here, too.”


The third man said “I owned a huge car dealership in Miami. Two years ago, a hurricane blew through, and destroyed everything, even the buildings. I, too, decided to take the insurance money, and retire.”


His companions looked at him in awe. After a few moments of silence, one asked “How did you start a hurricane??”


Old Age and Insurance

An elderly man goes to the life insurer to make a contract with them, but the lady there asks:

- How old are you, Sir?

- I'm 102 years old.

- 102 ?! And you want to take out life insurance at your age? Do you know what? Come back tomorrow.

- Not good tomorrow. Then it will be my father's birthday.

- Your father's birthday !? How old is your father?

- 139.

- Then come back next week.

"It's definitely not good next week." Then it will be my grandfather's wedding.

- Your grandfather's wedding !? How old is your grandfather?

- 164.

"And he wants to get married at his age?"

- He doesn't want to, but his parents are forcing him.

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