Lowes has been part of 2021 for many of us, a lot of us have discovered the value of a Lowes Money Off Coupon from We Are Coupons and saved money at the big blue store. To celebrate 2021 here are some New Year jokes to make you end this year with a smile and start next year happy.
Stealing
For my New Years resolution I promise to never steal money out of my wife’s purse
But then I just remembered she’s got a birthday coming up
How Many Resolutions?
I have 11 New Year Resolutions...
* Never make resolutions
* Be accepting of paradoxes
* Use the binary number system more often
True Resolutions
A man and his friend were talking about their New Year's Resolutions.
Friend: I heard you set some really tough resolutions, have you completed them?
Man: Well of course! I've swam across the Pacific Ocean in only speedos.
Friend: Neat.
Man: Scaled Mount Everest naked!
Friend, a bit skeptical: Really?
Man: Well, there is one I still haven't completed.
Friend: And that is?
Man: Break my habit of lying......
Nail Biting
I’m proud to announce I have stuck to my New Years Resolution and did not bite my nails the entire month of January.
My feet have never looked better.
Bartenders
A guy walked into his local bar on New Year's Eve and ordered a drink. As midnight approached he raised in glass in a toast, "Let's all begin this year standing beside the person who has made this past year worth living." The poor bartender was nearly crushed to death.
On the Moon
Some astronauts wanted to have a New Year's party on the moon
But they didn't planet in time
A Bad Joke
A guy goes to a New Year’s Day party. There are hundreds of people, holiday music is playing.
A few groups of people are playing cards. Others are shooting billiards. Yet another group is sitting around a warm fire telling stories. Everyone seems to be having a wonderful time. Realizing he is hungry, the man gets in a large queue and starts chatting with an old friend. After many minutes go by, he realizes he is not in the food line at all. He asks his friend about if this is the right line. “Oh, no,” the friend said...
“This is the punchline.”
Life Pro Tip
if you start watching, "When Harry Met Sally" at exactly 11:15 pm on New Year's Eve, when the clock strikes midnight...
You'll still be just as single as when you started the movie...
Fancy Dress
On New Year's Eve, a man arrives at a fancy dress party completely naked
"I'm a turtle" he says
Oh.. Who's on your back?
"That's Michelle" he replies
