This October you can save money at Lowes with a Lowes Money Off Coupon from We Are Coupons. Saving money is easy with a coupon and the amount you can save will bring a smile to your face. If saving money at Lowes doesn’t make you smile this October then these October themed jokes will have to do.
Naval Affairs
ACTUAL transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995.
This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.
Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."
Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision."
Americans: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."
Canadians: "No, I say again, you divert YOUR course."
Americans: "THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP."
Canadians: "This is a lighthouse. Your call."
Alaskan Nights
A man from northern Alaska is on trial…
The prosecutor asks in a menacing tone, “Where were you in the night from October to April?”
Festivities
It's October and we all know what that means to stores around the world.
*"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..."*
Humpty Dumpty
One day in October, Humpty Dumpty went to the clothes store...
He picks out a nice sweater, a couple pair of socks, a coat, etc. He pays for them and leaves. He heads out and goes to get groceries, and buys milk, eggs, tuna fish, matches, and a single pumpkin. On his way home now, he sees a stray cat in the cold. Feeling charitable, he offers it some tuna fish, and decides to take it home. Now home, he takes a match and lights his fireplace, gets a blanket, and wraps the cat with it. It falls asleep. He then takes the pumpkin and begins carving it out to be a Jack o’ lantern. He takes a picture and sends it to a friend, who gives it a 10/10. Now tired, he wraps himself in a blanket, lies in a chair next to the fireplace, with the cat sitting cozy in his lap.
He thinks to himself before he drifts asleep...
“Humpty Dumpty has had a great fall!”
Beer Festival
I was in Germany at Octoberfest and they asked me how many beers I wanted...
I said nine, but they didn't bring me any.
