This week we asked about the right time to put your Christmas tree up and found out it was pretty much now. With a Home Depot Money Off Coupon you can save money on your Christmas tree or any kind of tree in store to be honest. If that does not make you smile here are some jokes about trees that will
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. "You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
If a tree falls in a forest and nobody is around to hear it
then my illegal logging business is a success
How come you never see a Rhinoceros hiding in a tree?
Because they are really good at it.
How do you complete a family tree easily?
Post on social media that you won the lottery.
Stupid but True
What's green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell from a tree?
A pool table.
I took my wife to an orchard and we stood there staring at trees for more than an hour.
Apparently this was NOT the Apple Watch she was expecting for her birthday.
Trees and Shoes
What's the difference between an oak tree and a tight shoe?
One makes acorns, the other makes corns ache.
Why does the rate of trees cut follow an inverse exponential trend when lumberjacks start singing?
Because it falls into a logger-rhythm.
Birds in trees
Two birds are on a tree branch in the middle of the night
Bird 1: "I'm hungry, I'm going to try to find a mouse to eat."
Bird 2: "You sure? It's pretty damn dark to find a mouse."
Bird 1: "There's no harm in trying."
Bird 2: "I guess.."
*So bird 1 flies off into the darkness. Some time passes and the sun begins to rise. Bird 2 sees his pal flying back with a juicy beakful of blood.*
Bird 2: "Wow! Where did you find a feast like that?"
Bird 1: "See that tree over there?"
Bird 2: "Yeah"
Bird 1: "Well, I didn't."
Did you know a lot of animals can jump higher than trees?
This is mainly due to the fact trees can't jump.
A lumberjack once told me he’s cut down 27,572 trees.
“How do ya know exactly how many?” I inquired.
“Easy. I keep a log.”
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
And so they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.