This week we touched on Car Maintenance with a little help from Lowes. We Are Coupons can save you money on car maintenance items at Lowes with the best Lowes Discount Coupons you can get. If that doesn’t make you smile then these mechanic Jokes hopefully will
Mechanic Doctor
A proctologist gets sick of his medical career and decides it's time for a change. He does a bit of research and settles on trying his hand at being a mechanic. He attends mechanic school diligently and pays attention in the hopes of being the best mechanic in town.
After taking his final exam, he notices a mistake with the grade on the test and asks the teacher.
"Sir, you have me 150% out of a possible 100% on the practical exam. This must be a mistake!"
The teacher replies, "It's no mistake. 50% of the grade is for perfect disassembly of the engine. 50% is for perfect reassembly of the engine. I gave you another 50% on top because you did it all through the exhaust pipe!"
The Power of Light
Two mechanics are starting a long work day.
Greg: "I don't feel like working today. I think I'm going to get myself sent home early."
Al: "Just how do you think you're going to do that?"
Greg: "Watch me."
Greg climbs up the tire rack, and hangs upside down from the rafters with his arms spread out.
Just then the shop foreman walks in. He sees Greg hanging from the rafters.
Shop Foreman: "Greg, what the hell are you doing?"
Greg: "I'm a lightbulb."
Shop Foreman: "Greg, maybe I've been working you too hard. Take the rest of the day off, and enjoy some rest."
Greg climbs down, and heads for the door. Al starts to follow him out.
Shop Foreman: "Hey just where are you going? We've got work to do!"
Al: "It's too dark to work in here. Need more light!"
Mechanical Breakdown
While driving home I saw my mechanic on the side of the road crying like a little baby.
I don’t know exactly what happened but he must have had a serious breakdown
Musical Cars
Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise
He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.
Mechanically Human
I’ve been looking into the differences between propeller mechanics and human anatomy lately;
And I’ve gotta say: I’m not a fan.
Amish Mechanic
What do you call an Amish Man whose hand is in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
Auto Repair
If I ever opened a car repair shop, I would call it "Auto-Correct".
Then I'd paint the floor with those red squiggly lines..
Paperwork
I asked a mechanic for a book on how to fix automatic gearboxes…
But he only has manuals
Just because…
What do you get if you cross a Chrysler and a Fiat?
A big car that doesn’t start.
