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Funny Friday: Just smile

With so much doom and gloom around, we all need to smile. Saving at Lowes with a We Are Coupons Lowes Printable Coupon is one way to smile but the other is some simple funny jokes. So here goes

 

Clever Boy

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied:

“Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”

 

Wedding Fun

My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, “Well Sarah? Do you think you’ll be next?”
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We’ve settled this quickly once I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals.

 

How to cure a cough

A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a coughing syrup.
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Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks: “Well? Are you still coughing?”
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The patient replies: “No. I’m afraid to.” 

Wrong answer

Job interviewer: “And where would you see yourself in five years’ time Mr. Jeffries?"
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Mr. Jeffries: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."

 

No Teeth

 

An old grandma brings a bus driver a bag of peanuts every day.

First the bus driver enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he asked: "Please granny, don't bring me peanuts anymore. Have them yourself.".

The granny answers: "You know, I don't have teeth anymore. I just prefer to suck the chocolate around them."

 

Bad Mom

A mother asks her son: "Anton, do you think I’m a bad mom?"
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Son: "My name is Paul."

 

Simple error

A Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!

Father: Really, what?

Boy: That the potato should go in the front

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