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Funny Friday: Home Delivery

Funny Friday:  Home Delivery

Lowes has everything you need for your home in store. With a Lowes Money Off Coupon from We Are Coupons you can save money on just about everything. With Lowes, you can even have the items you have saved money on delivered to your door. Now, if that does not make you smile these delivery related jokes will.

Bed Delivery

What happened to the guy at the bed store who was denied home delivery?

he took mattress in his own hands

Fruit Delivery

I had to fire the fruit delivery guy today

I really had to let the mango he was driving me bananas

Delivering Construction Material

I got T-boned by a construction delivery truck the other day.

It came down like a ton of bricks.

Husband at Home

Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced. “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!” The bartender inquired. “What makes you say that?” Bill beamed with pride, “Last week, I had to take a couple of sick days from work..."

"Suzie was so thrilled to have me around, that every time a mail or delivery person came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”

Costume Delivery

The delivery man only brought part of my bear costume.

I wanted to choke him with my bear hands.

Pizza Delivery

A blonde orders a pizza delivery over the phone.

"Would you like your pizza cut into eight pieces, or ten?" asks the voice on the other end.

 

"Eight, please," replies the blonde.

 

When the pizza comes, the blonde notices that the pizza has been mistakenly cut into ten pieces. "Hey!" she says. "I asked for my pizza to be cut into eight pieces!"

 

"It's not that big a difference," replies the delivery guy.

 

"Of course it is!" says the blonde. "I could never eat ten!"

 

Delivery Guy

Started a new job as a delivery man today

When I got to my first address there was a little sticky note left on the door saying, "Dear Mr delivery man, we're out, please hide in the garage."

 

 

 

 

That was eight hours ago and still nobody's found me...

Another Delivery Guy

I was delivering a parcel. I walked up to the front door and knocked, before noticing a sign.

"If not in, leave with neighbours."

 

I tried one more time and nobody answered, so I walked to their neighbour's front door.

 

A young couple answered. I said, "Get in the van, I've been told to take you with me."

One more Delivery Guy

Some delivery guy knocked on my door today and said, "I have a parcel for your next-door neighbour."

I replied, "You've got the wrong house then, haven't you?"

 

 

 
 
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