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Film makers
What do you call a filmmaker who likes to go camping during the pandemic?
Tentin' Quarantino
Camping with a gun
Man takes along a .22 pistol to camping
His friend asks if that’s for bears.
Man: “No. This will not stop a bear.”
Friend: "What will you do if a bear crosses our path?"
Man: “I’ll run.”
“RUN?” asks the friend. “You can’t outrun a bear.”
Man: “I don’t have to. I just have to outrun you.”
Friend: “But you can’t outrun me.”
Man: “That’s what the .22 is for.”
Couples camping
My ex-wife and I used to go camping.
But it just became two in tents.
Sherlock Holmes
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson decide to go camping.
They pack their camping gear into the car and drive into the countryside. After a long drive and a light dinner they pitch their tent, climb inside, and are soon fast asleep in their sleeping bags.
In the middle of the night Sherlock shakes Watson awake. He points to the full moon and says, "What are you able to deduce from that?" Watson thinks for awhile and replies, " I deduce that the moon revolves around the earth and that earth revolves around the sun."
"Watson you fool!" said Sherlock, "our tent has been stolen."
Joggers
my daughter loves jogging and grammar but hates camping
she's always running past tents
Travel Insurance
I'm planning a camping holiday but, I have to say, I'm far from impressed with my travel insurance.
It turns out if someone steals my tent in the night, I'll no longer be covered.
Thoughts
If you think of something you seriously wanted to do while inside of your camping shelter,
you're thinking in the tense in-tent intent tense
bears in the woods
A Catholic priest, a Baptist minister and a rabbi are camping together
Around the campfire they each claim to be the best at winning converts to their respective faiths. To settle the friendly dispute they decide to seek out a bear and try to convert it. The next day they fan out in different directions into the woods, planning to meet back at the campsite in twelve hours.
That night they gather around the fire again. "Well," said the Baptist, "how did you do?"
"After a few hours I came upon a bear foraging for berries," the priest said. "I read to him from our Catechism and we talked about theology, and I'm happy to report I signed him up to start our conversion education."
"Good," the Baptist said. "I found a black bear in a creek. I laid out God's plan for salvation for him. He prayed the sinner's prayer and I baptized him right there in that creek!"
They then both turned the rabbi, who they now noticed had scratches on his face, torn clothes and blood across his belly. He took a long, deep breath and said: "If I could do it over again, I would not start with circumcision
