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Funny Friday: Chores

This week we touched on chores around the home. Lowes have been making chores easier (or worse depending on your point of view) for American kids for decades.  With the widest range of household products and tools any job is made easier. A We Are Coupons you can save money on everything at Lowes with a Lowes Money Off Coupon. If that doesn’t make you smile these jokes about chores will

Who does chores?

My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

My wife: Ok, more chores around the house need to be done by you.

Not doing chores

My wife of 10 years left me because I didn't do enough chores

It was devastating. I didn't do much to deserve it

Rewards for Chores

My daughter want's the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone, because.

It's my way or the Huawei.

Reminders

When a man promises to do chores, he will keep the promise.

No need to remind him every six months.

Husbands

A wife is shouting at her husband about not helping her with chores

- I'm cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, while you are sitting all day, waiting for me to bring you a beer. What kind of a husband are you?

- A patient one

Farmers

A farmer’s career criminal son was supposed to be helping him with the chores but when he looked behind the barn, he was asleep on the hay.

He was out on bale.

Good Deeds

In class, a teacher asked her students what was something good that they did today

The first kid says "I gave money to a homeless man"

The second kid says "I helped my mom with the chores"

The third kid says "I helped an old lady cross the street"

The teacher was very impressed and had high hopes for the fourth kid

The fourth kid then says "I prevented a murder"

The teacher amazed, asked the kid how

He replies with "Self Control"

Kids and Chores

My daughter was whining about her chores.

She asked if she needed to vacuum the whole apartment.

I said, "no, just do the floor."

Mowing the Lawn

So back in the day, a little boy riding his bicycle home from school notices the community pastor in his front yard with a push mower. Not paying much attention the boy goes on home and does his chores. Later the boy goes back by the pastors house and sees him still in the yard with the mower and no grass has been cut. Curious, the boy stops and watches for a while. The pastor notices the little boy and beckons him to come. The pastor asks the little boy Son, do you know anything about starting one of these things? The little boy replies, Oh yes sir I've seen my daddy do it a hundred times. The pastor asks, Well son could you tell me what it is I have to do to get this thing started? Little boy says, Yes sir you got to cuss it. I mean you got to cuss it real good. Pastor says, Oh boy I've been a preacher for 37 years I believe I may have forgotten how to cuss. The little boy spun his bicycle around headed down the driveway and says to the pastor, You just keep pulling on that cord it'll come back to you!

 

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